Humor: Advice to nude smokers

Ah, what the heck . . . we need some humor . . .

Taken shamelessly from Everything.com

If you are a habitual smoker, or even a casual smoker, eventually a situation will arise where you are without the protection of clothing and desiring a cigarette. This can be a dangerous situation. There are precautions you must take that under other circumstances would not be as necessary. Often a jittery smoker will grab a bathrobe or quickly slip into filthy, disease carrying clothes they find on the floor. This is not necessary! You can smoke in the nude in relative safety provided you follow some simple, common sense rules!

• When lighting the cigarette, be cautious with the flame. A self-extinguishing lighter is recommended, but when using a match or some other form of flame that will remain lit after igniting your fine tobacco product, be careful. Extinguish matches immediately, but do not shake the match. If it cannot be placed into water, toss it down and away from your body. If an ashtray is available, immediately place the match in the ashtray while standing clear. Do not ignite other items, such as curtains or bed linens.
• Hold the cigarette away from your body. As you take a hit from your fine tobacco product, make sure you have a good grip on the cigarette and then lift it up and away from your naked body. This will help avoid any unexpected burns from flaming debris which may drop from your fine tobacco product. Many commercial cigarettes contain a quantity of sticks, used diapers and pubic hair. These tiny bits of foreign matter can often explode with hot flame and drop like miniature bombs. Don’t allow your naked body to become a modern Dresden.
• Find a comfortable position. Smokers will often walk around with a cigarette, ranting about various personal and political issues while enjoying their fine tobacco product. This becomes dangerous when naked, and frankly, when others are present it also becomes very annoying. Sit down while enjoying your fine tobacco product and remember that you must avoid permanently disfiguring yourself. I advise sitting with both feet firmly on the ground with your elbows on your thighs.
• Concentrate on the cigarette. Keep an eye on your fine tobacco product and remember to “flick” your ash regularly. Do not let your mind wander. Keep your mind and your eyes on the cigarette. Falling ash or flaming debris could destroy an otherwise exciting and fulfilling experience.
• Have a designated hand. Decide before lighting your cigarette which hand will be designated to hold your fine tobacco product. Frequent switching of hands can jar the cigarette and cause ash or flaming debris to be jolted into the air. Keeping with a designated hand will help to eliminate much of this danger.
• Use an ashtray of some kind. Whether you have a formal ashtray or not, it is best when nude to have a depository of ash and flaming debris. A bottle or can will work if nothing else is available. If your ash is allowed to fly freely you may find yourself permanently scarred later on when your bare feet or knees land on something hot.
• Get up, you lazy shit. One of the most common reasons for smoking a cigarette while nude relates to having just experienced wonderful sex. This is often experienced in a bed and the desire to smoke a fine tobacco product can arise immediately after sexual gratification. Lying naked in bed and smoking is a romantic notion, but alas the danger is increased. Your body may still be tingling and your concentration is not what it normally would be. Sit up, with your upper body at a ninety degree angle before igniting and smoking your fine tobacco product and insist that your friend (or friends) do the same. Avoid jostling each other or initiating new sexual play while smoking.
• Extinguish smoking product carefully. All good things must end, and every fine tobacco product reaches the point where it has outlived its usefulness. When the time comes to “put out” your cigarette, think about the consequences. Jabbing the flaming stick of evil cancerous death into an ashtray or other vessel can cause ash and flaming debris to jump into the air and land in random locations. Take care as your smoking experience comes to an end. Keep your eye on the cigarette butt as you carefully plant it into your ashtray and massage it into the extinguishing vessel until you are sure it has stopped smoldering completely.

There are many situations that arise where smoking and nudity are common occurances. Nudist colonies, nude beaches and nudist groups often admit smokers and post stringent rules about how one must enjoy fine tobacco products. There are people who rarely wear clothes in the privacy of their own homes and choose to enjoy fine tobacco products. Those who are experienced rarely need rules pointed out to them. They have often learned via their own errors in judgment.

There are also special situations in which an average Joe might find themselves naked and desiring a fine tobacco product. You might be taking a long bath, in which case the water in the tub provides a natural insulation against ash and flaming debris. The most important rule in any such situation is to be careful. Remember that your bare skin is opposed to being burned and that the primary reason clothing was invented was to protect our beautiful bodies from flaming tobacco products.

Of course there are other forms of fine tobacco than the common cigarette. There are other products which can be smoked when one is naked. Special caution must be taken with a pipe and only experienced pipe smokers should smoke a pipe while naked. One who is not experienced in the ways of the tobacco pipe may find much ash and flaming debris flying into the air, especially if one accidently exhales with the pipe in one’s mouth. A cigar is also very dangerous to smoke when nude as one does not “flick” the ash and the volume of potential flaming debris is increased, especially if it is a cheap cigar. Products such as marijuana cigarettes are very popular with nude smokers and carry their own dangers. Smoking of marijuana may make it difficult to concentrate on the fate of ash and flaming debris. Depending on the quality of product and the ability of the marijuana cigarette roller, you may experience great danger to your exposed body. A pipe, bong, or other smoking apparatus may be better when one chooses not to wear clothing.

Just be careful out there. Someone might be watching. They might be crazy. They might be armed.

Humor: Advice to nude smokers

Ah, what the heck . . . we need some humor . . .

Taken shamelessly from Everything.com

If you are a habitual smoker, or even a casual smoker, eventually a situation will arise where you are without the protection of clothing and desiring a cigarette. This can be a dangerous situation. There are precautions you must take that under other circumstances would not be as necessary. Often a jittery smoker will grab a bathrobe or quickly slip into filthy, disease carrying clothes they find on the floor. This is not necessary! You can smoke in the nude in relative safety provided you follow some simple, common sense rules!

• When lighting the cigarette, be cautious with the flame. A self-extinguishing lighter is recommended, but when using a match or some other form of flame that will remain lit after igniting your fine tobacco product, be careful. Extinguish matches immediately, but do not shake the match. If it cannot be placed into water, toss it down and away from your body. If an ashtray is available, immediately place the match in the ashtray while standing clear. Do not ignite other items, such as curtains or bed linens.
• Hold the cigarette away from your body. As you take a hit from your fine tobacco product, make sure you have a good grip on the cigarette and then lift it up and away from your naked body. This will help avoid any unexpected burns from flaming debris which may drop from your fine tobacco product. Many commercial cigarettes contain a quantity of sticks, used diapers and pubic hair. These tiny bits of foreign matter can often explode with hot flame and drop like miniature bombs. Don’t allow your naked body to become a modern Dresden.
• Find a comfortable position. Smokers will often walk around with a cigarette, ranting about various personal and political issues while enjoying their fine tobacco product. This becomes dangerous when naked, and frankly, when others are present it also becomes very annoying. Sit down while enjoying your fine tobacco product and remember that you must avoid permanently disfiguring yourself. I advise sitting with both feet firmly on the ground with your elbows on your thighs.
• Concentrate on the cigarette. Keep an eye on your fine tobacco product and remember to “flick” your ash regularly. Do not let your mind wander. Keep your mind and your eyes on the cigarette. Falling ash or flaming debris could destroy an otherwise exciting and fulfilling experience.
• Have a designated hand. Decide before lighting your cigarette which hand will be designated to hold your fine tobacco product. Frequent switching of hands can jar the cigarette and cause ash or flaming debris to be jolted into the air. Keeping with a designated hand will help to eliminate much of this danger.
• Use an ashtray of some kind. Whether you have a formal ashtray or not, it is best when nude to have a depository of ash and flaming debris. A bottle or can will work if nothing else is available. If your ash is allowed to fly freely you may find yourself permanently scarred later on when your bare feet or knees land on something hot.
• Get up, you lazy shit. One of the most common reasons for smoking a cigarette while nude relates to having just experienced wonderful sex. This is often experienced in a bed and the desire to smoke a fine tobacco product can arise immediately after sexual gratification. Lying naked in bed and smoking is a romantic notion, but alas the danger is increased. Your body may still be tingling and your concentration is not what it normally would be. Sit up, with your upper body at a ninety degree angle before igniting and smoking your fine tobacco product and insist that your friend (or friends) do the same. Avoid jostling each other or initiating new sexual play while smoking.
• Extinguish smoking product carefully. All good things must end, and every fine tobacco product reaches the point where it has outlived its usefulness. When the time comes to “put out” your cigarette, think about the consequences. Jabbing the flaming stick of evil cancerous death into an ashtray or other vessel can cause ash and flaming debris to jump into the air and land in random locations. Take care as your smoking experience comes to an end. Keep your eye on the cigarette butt as you carefully plant it into your ashtray and massage it into the extinguishing vessel until you are sure it has stopped smoldering completely.

There are many situations that arise where smoking and nudity are common occurances. Nudist colonies, nude beaches and nudist groups often admit smokers and post stringent rules about how one must enjoy fine tobacco products. There are people who rarely wear clothes in the privacy of their own homes and choose to enjoy fine tobacco products. Those who are experienced rarely need rules pointed out to them. They have often learned via their own errors in judgment.

There are also special situations in which an average Joe might find themselves naked and desiring a fine tobacco product. You might be taking a long bath, in which case the water in the tub provides a natural insulation against ash and flaming debris. The most important rule in any such situation is to be careful. Remember that your bare skin is opposed to being burned and that the primary reason clothing was invented was to protect our beautiful bodies from flaming tobacco products.

Of course there are other forms of fine tobacco than the common cigarette. There are other products which can be smoked when one is naked. Special caution must be taken with a pipe and only experienced pipe smokers should smoke a pipe while naked. One who is not experienced in the ways of the tobacco pipe may find much ash and flaming debris flying into the air, especially if one accidently exhales with the pipe in one’s mouth. A cigar is also very dangerous to smoke when nude as one does not “flick” the ash and the volume of potential flaming debris is increased, especially if it is a cheap cigar. Products such as marijuana cigarettes are very popular with nude smokers and carry their own dangers. Smoking of marijuana may make it difficult to concentrate on the fate of ash and flaming debris. Depending on the quality of product and the ability of the marijuana cigarette roller, you may experience great danger to your exposed body. A pipe, bong, or other smoking apparatus may be better when one chooses not to wear clothing.

Just be careful out there. Someone might be watching. They might be crazy. They might be armed.

First Aid: Are You Prepared? Aiding a fellow hiker

I hike an awful lot au’ natural. I carry as little as I possibly can. After all, that is the idea behind nude hiking, isn’t it? But one thing I never hike without is at least a rudimentary first aid kit for the trail that can address the most common incidents that can happen. When you are hiking miles from assistance or help, you’d be negligent . . . if not also stupid . . . to at least take care of minor injuries like cuts and scrapes, insect bites and the like. But have you ever given thought to more serious accidents and just how you would address them. My small kit came in handy today, along with a little bit of judicious thought of the few small items I do carry that can perform additional services.

The Martha Lake Trail is a reasonably short trail with a pretty alpine lake as it’s destination. Two miles in and two out. It can be popular except for the very rough hiking situation that has seen Search and Rescue vans at the trailhead a number of times. Today I started out late . . . one vehicle at the trailhead. Plenty of forewarning on this trail so I hiked in nude expecting an enjoyable hike, some time in the sun at the lake, and out by dusk. I made the lake in just under two hours and started to search for an area to bask for a while before heading back. That’s when I saw two young women hikers on the other side of the lake waving their hands in an unmistakable frantic way. I wave back and started heading their way, which took sometime on the tricky and narrow, skree-strewn path. (yes, I did put my shorts on)

When I arrived, one of them was in obvious pain, sitting down and babying an unshod foot . . . the tennis sneaker sitting a foot or so away. The girl’s ankle was already pretty well swollen . . . there was no way we were going to get her sneaker back on now. I asked what had happened and I was told she’d gone wading in the shallows and stepped on a hidden snag . . . and now she couldn’t put weight on her foot without a lot of excrutiating pain. Should have left that shoe on but that’s spilt milk now. The real problem would be how to get her out of there before nightfall.

The considerations during a debilitating (or worse) injury far from reasonably-timed aid is whether to send for that aid or make an attempt to get out under your own power. Cell phones don’t work in this valley, nor do they connect at the trailhead. It was a two hour hike back (at best), another hour to the nearest phone and an equal amount of time to return with aid. Six hours and it’s already four o’clock. It would be well past dark before any help would be forthcoming. Too much time for these inexperienced girls. They were already panicking over thoughts of bears and mountain loins and darkness. They’d freak! If I could stabilize her foot, it was worth a try at hiking out ourselves.

The first aid kit was, of course, worthless. Bandaids, tweezers and a few gauze pads didn’t add up to much. But I always carry a roll of 1 1/2″ sports tape . . . the stretch-type that clings to itself . . . because I’ve twisted ankles before and I know how handy this stuff is, either as a wound bandage or a support wrap.

First order of business, wrap her ankle securely . . . leaving the toes exposed to keep a check on circulation. Then cinch up her other shoe to give her reliable footing on the way back. I had her friend massage her calf muscles (more to reassure them than anything else) while I searched out a good hiking stick for the girl. Then we got her up and did some test walks. It would work if we took it slow. Since I’d come in with only a fanny pack, I shouldered the girls daypack. We got her up on one leg between us, her arms over our shoulders. Slowly, we made it back around the lake to the safer trail leading down and out . . . a place where she could use the walking stick and only myself for support while her friend led on the narrow trail.

It was slow work. We stopped frequently to rest and raise her foot, check the circulation and then encourage her on. At several points I considered carrying her piggy-back but the trail didn’t allow for that except at the two stream-crossings we had to make.

Nightfall hit us. I hadn’t planned on a night hike but I still carry my headlamp. Out it came and now I had two very scared girls hovering close for physical reassurance. I don’t particularly like to hike in the dark and I’m experienced. I could imagine the things going through their minds everytime the wind rustled a bush nearby in the darkness. We slowed down considerably, staying within the bright cone of illumination.

It was almost ten by the time we made the trailhead and I hobbled them over to the safety of their car. I rechecked the wrapping and told her friend not to worry . . . drive normally and stop by an emergency room on the way home just to be sure. They begged me not to leave until they were ready so they could follow me out. I promised with a smile. A while later, we turned onto Highway 2 westbound. They stayed behind me all the way to Monroe where they turned off.

The nice thing . . . I got a phone call a little while ago to thank me again and let me know that she just had a severe sprain, nothing broken, and would be okay (which is why I’m writing this small piece). The other nice thing? Would I go hiking with them some time? It’s nice to help people and to be thanked. It’s nice to make friends. Makes your day.

First Aid: Are You Prepared? Aiding a fellow hiker

I hike an awful lot au’ natural. I carry as little as I possibly can. After all, that is the idea behind nude hiking, isn’t it? But one thing I never hike without is at least a rudimentary first aid kit for the trail that can address the most common incidents that can happen. When you are hiking miles from assistance or help, you’d be negligent . . . if not also stupid . . . to at least take care of minor injuries like cuts and scrapes, insect bites and the like. But have you ever given thought to more serious accidents and just how you would address them. My small kit came in handy today, along with a little bit of judicious thought of the few small items I do carry that can perform additional services.

The Martha Lake Trail is a reasonably short trail with a pretty alpine lake as it’s destination. Two miles in and two out. It can be popular except for the very rough hiking situation that has seen Search and Rescue vans at the trailhead a number of times. Today I started out late . . . one vehicle at the trailhead. Plenty of forewarning on this trail so I hiked in nude expecting an enjoyable hike, some time in the sun at the lake, and out by dusk. I made the lake in just under two hours and started to search for an area to bask for a while before heading back. That’s when I saw two young women hikers on the other side of the lake waving their hands in an unmistakable frantic way. I wave back and started heading their way, which took sometime on the tricky and narrow, skree-strewn path. (yes, I did put my shorts on)

When I arrived, one of them was in obvious pain, sitting down and babying an unshod foot . . . the tennis sneaker sitting a foot or so away. The girl’s ankle was already pretty well swollen . . . there was no way we were going to get her sneaker back on now. I asked what had happened and I was told she’d gone wading in the shallows and stepped on a hidden snag . . . and now she couldn’t put weight on her foot without a lot of excrutiating pain. Should have left that shoe on but that’s spilt milk now. The real problem would be how to get her out of there before nightfall.

The considerations during a debilitating (or worse) injury far from reasonably-timed aid is whether to send for that aid or make an attempt to get out under your own power. Cell phones don’t work in this valley, nor do they connect at the trailhead. It was a two hour hike back (at best), another hour to the nearest phone and an equal amount of time to return with aid. Six hours and it’s already four o’clock. It would be well past dark before any help would be forthcoming. Too much time for these inexperienced girls. They were already panicking over thoughts of bears and mountain loins and darkness. They’d freak! If I could stabilize her foot, it was worth a try at hiking out ourselves.

The first aid kit was, of course, worthless. Bandaids, tweezers and a few gauze pads didn’t add up to much. But I always carry a roll of 1 1/2″ sports tape . . . the stretch-type that clings to itself . . . because I’ve twisted ankles before and I know how handy this stuff is, either as a wound bandage or a support wrap.

First order of business, wrap her ankle securely . . . leaving the toes exposed to keep a check on circulation. Then cinch up her other shoe to give her reliable footing on the way back. I had her friend massage her calf muscles (more to reassure them than anything else) while I searched out a good hiking stick for the girl. Then we got her up and did some test walks. It would work if we took it slow. Since I’d come in with only a fanny pack, I shouldered the girls daypack. We got her up on one leg between us, her arms over our shoulders. Slowly, we made it back around the lake to the safer trail leading down and out . . . a place where she could use the walking stick and only myself for support while her friend led on the narrow trail.

It was slow work. We stopped frequently to rest and raise her foot, check the circulation and then encourage her on. At several points I considered carrying her piggy-back but the trail didn’t allow for that except at the two stream-crossings we had to make.

Nightfall hit us. I hadn’t planned on a night hike but I still carry my headlamp. Out it came and now I had two very scared girls hovering close for physical reassurance. I don’t particularly like to hike in the dark and I’m experienced. I could imagine the things going through their minds everytime the wind rustled a bush nearby in the darkness. We slowed down considerably, staying within the bright cone of illumination.

It was almost ten by the time we made the trailhead and I hobbled them over to the safety of their car. I rechecked the wrapping and told her friend not to worry . . . drive normally and stop by an emergency room on the way home just to be sure. They begged me not to leave until they were ready so they could follow me out. I promised with a smile. A while later, we turned onto Highway 2 westbound. They stayed behind me all the way to Monroe where they turned off.

The nice thing . . . I got a phone call a little while ago to thank me again and let me know that she just had a severe sprain, nothing broken, and would be okay (which is why I’m writing this small piece). The other nice thing? Would I go hiking with them some time? It’s nice to help people and to be thanked. It’s nice to make friends. Makes your day.

Deer Flies have Hatched

The Deer Flies Are Biting

I started out on a long anticipated nude backpacking trip to Deception Lake today and lasted all of fifteen minutes. I didn’t even make the trail entrance. The moment I stepped from my car I thought I’d stepped into a hornets nest as dozens and dozens of large buzzing deer flies homed in on me and my car. The first of the season and it was a miserable moment as I stood there swinging my shorts around my head to push the insistent pests away.
[Image Source: Wikipedia]

I wasn’t prepared for deer flies and their related cousins, the horse fly. Citronella does not work on them and DEET, though effective against mosquitoes, does nothing to discourage deer flies. These nasty critters can impart a nasty bite (the female is the bloodsucker . . . the male more civilized, or whimpish, as you prefer) as they suck your blood for a protein meal.

Like mosquitoes, they are attracted from hundreds of feet away by the carbon dioxide and lactic acid we exhale (which also explains why they had this affinity for the exhaust coming out of my cars tailpipe . . . carbon dioxide). In any case, within moments there were hundreds of these things buzzing around me and a naked hike was out of the question. It was all I could do to duck back into the car and listen to them impact against the windows. Nasty critters!

You find them everywhere . . . forests, meadows, roadsides. I noticed that they seem to prefer the sunnier areas (though I won’t swear by that), and on the drive back down the mountain deer flies seemed to drop off below 3,600 feet. A little research indicates the deer fly is territorial and prone to locale. The west side of Mt Sawyer was deer-fly-free, so there may be some truth to this. The west side of Mt Sawyer is bereft of slower moving streams and wet areas, as well; and deer flies need a moist area to lay their eggs.

In a nutshell:

• Deer Flies and Horse Flies pupate into adults once a year in the summer months and live as adults for 60 to 90 days.
• The adults are attracted to dark, moving objects and the carbon dioxide we exhale and emit from the tailpipes of our cars.
• The female Deer and Horse Flies bite with scissors-like mandibles and drink the blood from the bite. The bite can be extremely painful and some people may suffer an allergic reaction to the injected saliva that is intended to prevent coagulation.
• Deer Flies favor the head, particularly under the brim of a hat. They will swarm the head and attack five or six at a time.
• Horse Flies favor the legs and will attempt to attack with two or three flies at a time.
• Deer Flies and Horse Flies will rest in grasses or bushes and swarm when they detect a victim. They are strong fliers and will aggressively follow a car for a considerable distance.

Additional information on the various biting flies can be found at the Colorado State University Cooperative Extension.

REI has the only product I know of that is effective against biting flies such as the Deer and Horse Fly.

To quote the product literature:

Sawyer Broad Spectrum Spray

For skin application. While Deet can repel all mosquitoes, ticks, and some flies, Deet does not repel all flies effectively. For those situations you will need the extra protection of the special fly repellent, R-326, which is added to this formula and is effective against flies, gnats and no-see-ums. For times when sprays are more convenient than lotions, this is the formula to use. Sawyer’s Broad Spectrum contains no alcohol which has been shown to increase skin absorption of Deet, and is the only non-alcohol spray repellent in the USA.

You can order it online here, or pick up a bottle at the downtown REI for $5.95

Deer Flies have Hatched

The Deer Flies Are Biting

I started out on a long anticipated nude backpacking trip to Deception Lake today and lasted all of fifteen minutes. I didn’t even make the trail entrance. The moment I stepped from my car I thought I’d stepped into a hornets nest as dozens and dozens of large buzzing deer flies homed in on me and my car. The first of the season and it was a miserable moment as I stood there swinging my shorts around my head to push the insistent pests away.
[Image Source: Wikipedia]

I wasn’t prepared for deer flies and their related cousins, the horse fly. Citronella does not work on them and DEET, though effective against mosquitoes, does nothing to discourage deer flies. These nasty critters can impart a nasty bite (the female is the bloodsucker . . . the male more civilized, or whimpish, as you prefer) as they suck your blood for a protein meal.

Like mosquitoes, they are attracted from hundreds of feet away by the carbon dioxide and lactic acid we exhale (which also explains why they had this affinity for the exhaust coming out of my cars tailpipe . . . carbon dioxide). In any case, within moments there were hundreds of these things buzzing around me and a naked hike was out of the question. It was all I could do to duck back into the car and listen to them impact against the windows. Nasty critters!

You find them everywhere . . . forests, meadows, roadsides. I noticed that they seem to prefer the sunnier areas (though I won’t swear by that), and on the drive back down the mountain deer flies seemed to drop off below 3,600 feet. A little research indicates the deer fly is territorial and prone to locale. The west side of Mt Sawyer was deer-fly-free, so there may be some truth to this. The west side of Mt Sawyer is bereft of slower moving streams and wet areas, as well; and deer flies need a moist area to lay their eggs.

In a nutshell:

• Deer Flies and Horse Flies pupate into adults once a year in the summer months and live as adults for 60 to 90 days.
• The adults are attracted to dark, moving objects and the carbon dioxide we exhale and emit from the tailpipes of our cars.
• The female Deer and Horse Flies bite with scissors-like mandibles and drink the blood from the bite. The bite can be extremely painful and some people may suffer an allergic reaction to the injected saliva that is intended to prevent coagulation.
• Deer Flies favor the head, particularly under the brim of a hat. They will swarm the head and attack five or six at a time.
• Horse Flies favor the legs and will attempt to attack with two or three flies at a time.
• Deer Flies and Horse Flies will rest in grasses or bushes and swarm when they detect a victim. They are strong fliers and will aggressively follow a car for a considerable distance.

Additional information on the various biting flies can be found at the Colorado State University Cooperative Extension.

REI has the only product I know of that is effective against biting flies such as the Deer and Horse Fly.

To quote the product literature:

Sawyer Broad Spectrum Spray

For skin application. While Deet can repel all mosquitoes, ticks, and some flies, Deet does not repel all flies effectively. For those situations you will need the extra protection of the special fly repellent, R-326, which is added to this formula and is effective against flies, gnats and no-see-ums. For times when sprays are more convenient than lotions, this is the formula to use. Sawyer’s Broad Spectrum contains no alcohol which has been shown to increase skin absorption of Deet, and is the only non-alcohol spray repellent in the USA.

You can order it online here, or pick up a bottle at the downtown REI for $5.95

Rooster Rock-Restful Haven-Sauvie Island Aug 6-7th 2005

Well, here’s an opportunity that just can’t be ignored . . . your chance to get into nudism with very little cost to yourself and to visit some superlative clothing-optional facilities in the Portland area.

August is the month for Rooster Rock State Park . . . when the waters in the Columbia River finally go down enough for the great sand beaches to emerge and warm up. Rooster Rock is the site of one of two official clothing optional beaches in the Portland area and the regular nudist community and the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) will be having a beach cleanup party at Rooster Rock starting at 9AM on August 6th. Here’s an opportunity to enjoy the beach au’natural while helping to get it into shape but there is more . . . much more.

Restful Haven, a very nice nudist resort west of Portland has just offered to drop it’s grounds fees on August 6th to anyone registering and helping out with the Rooster Rock cleanup. You don’t have to be an AANR or TNS member to enjoy this gracious offer . . . just a member of the cleanup party.

You get to visit the grounds of Restful Haven, enjoy the spa or sunning lawns and the other facilites, enjoy a low cost dinner ($4) and if you’ve travelled a distance, pitch a tent and camp overnight. Update: Camp fees are half-priced for participants: Tent $3.00, full hookup $5.50 and water & electric $4.00

Add a visit to Collins Beach on Sauvies Island the next day and give a hand doing some light cleanup and then enjoy the rest of the day sunning on the clothing-optional beach.

It’s not often these kinds of events converge together to make a wonderful weekend. Consider showing up at Rooster Rock at 9AM on August 6th and take advantage of this great offer. It is open to everyone participating in the cleanup.

ORCOBA Website for Rooster Rock and Collins Beach

Restful Haven Nude Resort Website Consider emailing them if you plan on taking advantage of the dinner or need to reserve a camping location. A nice thanks in advance would probably be welcome. (Restful Haven Office email)

Agenda:

9AM Aug 6th: Rooster Rock Cleanup begins, followed by hot dogs and fun in the sun.

Directions from Seattle to Rooster Rock Take a right at the toll booth to the park ($3 parking fee, covered if you have a NW Recreation Pass) and drive to the end of the east parking lot. Go down the stairs near the restroom. The signup area will either be there or on the beach at the end of the trail.

Afternoon of Aug 6th thru Aug 7th, head over to Restful Haven to relax in the spa or enjoy the grounds and facilities. $4 dinner, volleyball, socializing, camping overnight or rent a cabin. Grounds Fees are waived for cleanup participants.

Directions from Rooster Rock to Restful Haven

10:30AM Aug 7th: Car convoy over to Sauvie Island for a brief cleanup of the parking area, then join us for the rest of the day on Collins Beach

Directions from Restful Haven to Collins Beach. Parking Fee is $1.50, purchased at the General Store just after crosing the bridge to Sauvies Island (NW Recreation Pass is good here, as well).

Late in the afternoon, Aug 7th: Head back to Seattle. The directions avoid heading back into Portland and take 30 north through Longview and Kelso.

Directions from Collins Beach back to Seattle

Rooster Rock-Restful Haven-Sauvie Island Aug 6-7th 2005

Well, here’s an opportunity that just can’t be ignored . . . your chance to get into nudism with very little cost to yourself and to visit some superlative clothing-optional facilities in the Portland area.

August is the month for Rooster Rock State Park . . . when the waters in the Columbia River finally go down enough for the great sand beaches to emerge and warm up. Rooster Rock is the site of one of two official clothing optional beaches in the Portland area and the regular nudist community and the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) will be having a beach cleanup party at Rooster Rock starting at 9AM on August 6th. Here’s an opportunity to enjoy the beach au’natural while helping to get it into shape but there is more . . . much more.

Restful Haven, a very nice nudist resort west of Portland has just offered to drop it’s grounds fees on August 6th to anyone registering and helping out with the Rooster Rock cleanup. You don’t have to be an AANR or TNS member to enjoy this gracious offer . . . just a member of the cleanup party.

You get to visit the grounds of Restful Haven, enjoy the spa or sunning lawns and the other facilites, enjoy a low cost dinner ($4) and if you’ve travelled a distance, pitch a tent and camp overnight. Update: Camp fees are half-priced for participants: Tent $3.00, full hookup $5.50 and water & electric $4.00

Add a visit to Collins Beach on Sauvies Island the next day and give a hand doing some light cleanup and then enjoy the rest of the day sunning on the clothing-optional beach.

It’s not often these kinds of events converge together to make a wonderful weekend. Consider showing up at Rooster Rock at 9AM on August 6th and take advantage of this great offer. It is open to everyone participating in the cleanup.

ORCOBA Website for Rooster Rock and Collins Beach

Restful Haven Nude Resort Website Consider emailing them if you plan on taking advantage of the dinner or need to reserve a camping location. A nice thanks in advance would probably be welcome. (Restful Haven Office email)

Agenda:

9AM Aug 6th: Rooster Rock Cleanup begins, followed by hot dogs and fun in the sun.

Directions from Seattle to Rooster Rock Take a right at the toll booth to the park ($3 parking fee, covered if you have a NW Recreation Pass) and drive to the end of the east parking lot. Go down the stairs near the restroom. The signup area will either be there or on the beach at the end of the trail.

Afternoon of Aug 6th thru Aug 7th, head over to Restful Haven to relax in the spa or enjoy the grounds and facilities. $4 dinner, volleyball, socializing, camping overnight or rent a cabin. Grounds Fees are waived for cleanup participants.

Directions from Rooster Rock to Restful Haven

10:30AM Aug 7th: Car convoy over to Sauvie Island for a brief cleanup of the parking area, then join us for the rest of the day on Collins Beach

Directions from Restful Haven to Collins Beach. Parking Fee is $1.50, purchased at the General Store just after crosing the bridge to Sauvies Island (NW Recreation Pass is good here, as well).

Late in the afternoon, Aug 7th: Head back to Seattle. The directions avoid heading back into Portland and take 30 north through Longview and Kelso.

Directions from Collins Beach back to Seattle

Sauvie Island: Collins Clothing-Optional Beach

Thanks to the continuing efforts of the Oregon Clothing Optional Beach Alliance we can enjoy two excellent clothing optional beaches that are unique in that they are officially sanctioned and recognized as clothing-optional by the State of Oregon. These two beaches are known as Rooster Rock State Park (east of Portland) and Collins beach on Sauvie Island (north of Portland).

For those of us visiting from the Seattle area, Rooster Rock is the better known and easier to get to . . . I-5 to I-205 and then east. However, Collins is by far the better beach. Collins Beach is also the home of the Yellow Flag program which I intend to highlight in another post as I’ve become very interested in it and would like it introduced to other clothing-optional locales.

To get to Collins Beach from Seattle, follow these MSN MapPoint directions.

Further information from the ORCOBA website, including the need for a parking permit:

By car, take Highway 30 north from Portland, or south from St. Helens. North of the town of Linnton, watch for a sign, “Sauvie Island Bridge” at a traffic-light-controlled intersection. Turn onto the bridge. Note: If you have not already purchased a daily or yearly parking permit, you will need to do so. They are available at the general store at the base of the bridge as you cross the river channel. A daily pass is $1.50; an annual permit is $11.00. Be sure to place this on your dash when you park at the beach.

You have two choices as to routes to Collins Beach: One is to take GIllihan road, which runs from the general store underneath the bridge, and follow it for several miles to the intersection with Reeder Road, turning right onto Reeder Road. Or, take Sauvie Island Road north from the store (turn left out of the store parking lot), and turn right onto Reeder Road a few miles up. Continue on Reeder Road after it intersects with Gillihan Road.

Whichever route you choose, follow Reeder Road, which will become a bit narrower and rougher as it crosses into Columbia County. Stay on Reeder Road, passing Reeder Beach, a small RV park and marina, and a few farms. Stay on Reeder until the road turns to gravel (the beach parking lot along the paved portion is a clothed beach, known as Walton Beach). One you reach the gravel portion, you will see a sign: Entering Clothing-Optional Area. Parking is along the left-hand side of the road; foot trails to the beach are on the right, marked 1 through 6.

So plan a visit now that Portland is baking in 80 to 90 degree temps, say ‘hi’ the the regulars (around the yellow flags) or join a lively game of volleyball. I can’t wait to get back down there.

Sauvie Island: Collins Clothing-Optional Beach

Thanks to the continuing efforts of the Oregon Clothing Optional Beach Alliance we can enjoy two excellent clothing optional beaches that are unique in that they are officially sanctioned and recognized as clothing-optional by the State of Oregon. These two beaches are known as Rooster Rock State Park (east of Portland) and Collins beach on Sauvie Island (north of Portland).

For those of us visiting from the Seattle area, Rooster Rock is the better known and easier to get to . . . I-5 to I-205 and then east. However, Collins is by far the better beach. Collins Beach is also the home of the Yellow Flag program which I intend to highlight in another post as I’ve become very interested in it and would like it introduced to other clothing-optional locales.

To get to Collins Beach from Seattle, follow these MSN MapPoint directions.

Further information from the ORCOBA website, including the need for a parking permit:

By car, take Highway 30 north from Portland, or south from St. Helens. North of the town of Linnton, watch for a sign, “Sauvie Island Bridge” at a traffic-light-controlled intersection. Turn onto the bridge. Note: If you have not already purchased a daily or yearly parking permit, you will need to do so. They are available at the general store at the base of the bridge as you cross the river channel. A daily pass is $1.50; an annual permit is $11.00. Be sure to place this on your dash when you park at the beach.

You have two choices as to routes to Collins Beach: One is to take GIllihan road, which runs from the general store underneath the bridge, and follow it for several miles to the intersection with Reeder Road, turning right onto Reeder Road. Or, take Sauvie Island Road north from the store (turn left out of the store parking lot), and turn right onto Reeder Road a few miles up. Continue on Reeder Road after it intersects with Gillihan Road.

Whichever route you choose, follow Reeder Road, which will become a bit narrower and rougher as it crosses into Columbia County. Stay on Reeder Road, passing Reeder Beach, a small RV park and marina, and a few farms. Stay on Reeder until the road turns to gravel (the beach parking lot along the paved portion is a clothed beach, known as Walton Beach). One you reach the gravel portion, you will see a sign: Entering Clothing-Optional Area. Parking is along the left-hand side of the road; foot trails to the beach are on the right, marked 1 through 6.

So plan a visit now that Portland is baking in 80 to 90 degree temps, say ‘hi’ the the regulars (around the yellow flags) or join a lively game of volleyball. I can’t wait to get back down there.